


The Black Door

by skullkid, Trashmaster



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: A lotta angst, Angst, Childhood Friends, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Kinda Slow Build, Murder, Romance, Skyrim AU, The Dark Brotherhood - Freeform, maybe smut who knows, romance when it probably shouldn't happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-17 05:44:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8132563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullkid/pseuds/skullkid, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashmaster/pseuds/Trashmaster
Summary: Everything changes when a normal hunting trip turns you into the witness of a murder.A brutal murder over gold, you can assume. You try to forget about it. You have questions, sure. Why was the man killed, why was the murderer wearing some kind of strange red armor and hood? The more you think about it, the more you realize that you won't be getting answers. You think that's the end of it, just a random killing that you happened to stumble upon....And then everything changes, and your simple life becomes complicated./// skyrim/dark brotherhood au. in other words, the au we didn't know we needed





	1. Witness

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone!
> 
> im here with ANOTHER fic. i'm super happy with it, though! me and lexa (skullkid) thought really hard about the plot i think we have a lot of great ideas that i'm excited to share.
> 
> if things get confusing, which they may, feel free to leave a comment about it and i'll try to explain the best i can!
> 
> -penny <3

You crouch behind the oak tree, chest rising and falling rapidly. Your hands clutch your bow and a single arrow. You hear leaves crunching at a steady pace from behind you. Your prey is close. You ready your bow, tightly holding back the string. You peek around the tree and see the movement of the deer.

Its head turns towards you just as you're about to fire, and it runs away. You groan and slap your forehead. _So close!_ You'll just have to buy dinner tonight from Yoosung's, you suppose. Unless Saeyoung brought something home? Yeah right. He couldn't shoot a deer if it was right in front of him and had no legs. You laugh to yourself and shake your head.

You turn back to your hiding spot to pick up your quiver, but jump when you hear a shouting from somewhere through the trees. Picking up your quiver, you hurry to follow the voice. Its coming from a clearing close to you, behind a hill. 

You're just about to reach the source of the noise when you see a splash of red scattered on a nearby tree. You inspect the spot and confirm that it is indeed blood. You feel yourself shaking, but try to keep your movements quiet. You pull out your small dagger from your belt, holding it close to your side.

You sneak towards the clearing, avoiding roots and sticks that scatter the ground. Another yell echos through the forest. You can hear it clearly now, and it isn't coherent words. Just a scream. The person sounds pained. Maybe a wolf got to them?

When you see the hooded figure, you realize that isn't the case.

The person is wearing some kind of red and black leather armor. A hood conceals their face, and bloodied duel swords are being gripped in their gloved hands. They're hovering over a wounded man. He looks like some kind of hunter or bandit. There's some kind of cloth pouch at his side. You see a flash of gold from inside and your eyes light up. That's more gold in one place than you've seen in a long time.

The hooded figure stabs the man on the ground and another coat of blood hits the forest floor. The man screams. He's still alive, but you can tell he won't be for long. His cloth shirt is soaked in dark red. You watch silently, completely entranced. You hear the man pleading for his life. In an instance, the figure grunts and slashes the man's throat. You cover your mouth with your hand.

The man falls back dead, eyes still open in fear. The figure sheaths their swords, and snags the bag of gold. You stand up, not quite sure of what you've just seen. You turn to escape, and snap a twig. The figure swivels toward you and you're running as fast as you can back to the village.

It isn't too far a run. You never have to go too far away from home to hunt, as Falkreath is surrounded by vast forest. It felt a lot longer to get home than it should have, though. You swear you hear someone chasing after you, but whenever you stop and turn back to look, there's nobody there. You assume you're safe, but there's still a chilling feeling that overcomes you as you make your way back. You don't want to be out in this forest any longer. 

When you finally arrive at the familiar archway, you stop to catch your breath. The two guards stationed there come over to you and ask if something is wrong. You're clearly distressed, but shake your head and say that everything's fine. You probably should have told them about the figure in the forest, you know that. You really have no idea why you _didn't_ tell them, actually.

There's just this feeling in your core that's clouding your logical thinking. The feeling that you saw something that you absolutely shouldn't have. You feel like a kid that caught their dad drinking behind the house. You feel like a witness to a crime. You mean, it _was_ a crime, but you have a feeling that it's far more complex than a simple murder. 

Ever since you were a kid, there have been rumors of a secret organization of killers that live somewhere in the forest. The Dark Brotherhood. You never believed them. Well, until now, at least.

You pull away from the guards after reassuring them that you're okay, and start towards your house. It's a small home, with just enough room for you and Saeyoung to live comfortably. You share a bedroom, but both have your own sides. There's a small kitchen and living room. You have a basement, too, but you don't ever really go down there. Saeyoung is convinced it's haunted.

You enter through the front door, and slam it closed behind you. You sit down in a chair and rub your temple. _What the hell just happened?_ That armor looked pretty fancy. Could the person be part of The Dark Brotherhood? It would make sense, but then you'd have to accept the fact that The Dark Brotherhood is real. You groan and sit back.

"Hey, back already?" Saeyoung's head pops out from the bedroom doorway. 

You sigh, "Yeah... I didn't get any game though."

Saeyoung must notice how stressed out you are because he comes to sit next to you, "...Something happen?" He gasps, "Did you finally see the legendary White Stag?"

You laugh, "No! I told you, it's not real." You rest your chin in your hands, "There was _something_ , though..." 

"Oooh, what happened?" He asks playfully, not realizing the severity of the situation.

"Well... agh, I don't know... I just saw..." You shake your head, "Well, out in the woods, I heard this scream," Saeyoung raises his eyebrows, "Yeah! So, then I follow the noise to this clearing and there's a man on the ground and this weird hooded figure dressed in this black and red armor and they're... stabbing him." 

Saeyoung suddenly looks serious, "A hooded figure?"

You nod, a little taken back from his sudden change in mood, "Yeah. They... killed him, then they heard me about to get away."

His eyes widen.

"What else?" He asks quickly.

"Nothing... I just ran home. I don't think the person followed me."

Out of nowhere, he leans forward to hug you. You hold him back, confused.

"That must've been scary." He says quietly.

"Yeah... it was..."

 

\--

 

You’re both relieved and incredibly anxious to be back in the forest.

Saeyoung had been attempting to convince you to stay in town for the last few days, after what had happened the last time you were out hunting.  He didn’t like the thought of you being out there alone, and if you were being honest, you didn’t either.  But your gold was dwindling _fast_ , you couldn’t afford to keep relying on going to Yoosung’s inn for food every day.  Yoosung had told you several times that the two of you didn’t have to pay, but you couldn’t do that to him.  None of you were exactly well off. 

You needed food, and in order to get food, you needed to hunt.

You step outside of the town, clutching your bow a little tighter than you’d like to admit.  The air feels… different.  You’ve spent so much time in this forest, you can barely remember a time in your life when you weren’t out here.  It was like a second home to you, but now it feels like the entire area has morphed, changed into something unknown and sinister.

A chill runs down your spine and you try to ignore it.  It won’t do you any good to let yourself be afraid, it’s not like you can avoid leaving the town forever.  The forest shouldn’t scare you anyway, what happened a few days ago was just a fluke. A small change in routine. It’s not like you’re going to witness something that awful again.

You take a deep breath, calming yourself, and make your way into the trees.  You told yourself when you left that you weren’t coming back until you had taken down a deer.  Normally, you’d just be happy with whatever you could manage to bring back, but there is _no_ food for you and Saeyoung right now.

You roam the forest for at least a couple hours, pushing yourself to ignore the anxiety in the pit of your stomach and keep going deeper.  It’s odd to see it so empty, you’d barely even run across a _bird_ the entire time you’ve been out here.  A frustrated groan slips out from you, even though you know that won’t help the situation.

The sky is getting darker than you’d like it to, and you know you should probably turn back before you find yourself lost.  But you can’t bare the thought of coming home empty handed.  You know that Saeyoung won’t think anything of it, it’s not like you always came back with food.  But you feel so out of your element now, you want to prove to yourself that this forest is _yours_ , that what you saw a few days ago was nothing. 

So you go even farther into the woods.

You walk for another ten minutes before you hear something.  Everything had been unsettlingly silent, so when you hear the faintest of noises you’re suddenly on alert.  You follow the sound, being cautious to not make any noise yourself in fear of scaring whatever it was away.  You _really_ hoped it was a deer. 

In your head, you realize you don’t recognize this part of the forest anymore, you hadn’t come this far before.  But you keep following where you think you heard the sound, ducking behind a tree to scan your surroundings. 

There’s _nothing_.  You had definitely heard movement from this direction, it had been loud enough that you were sure whatever was making it couldn’t have gotten far.  But there is absolutely nothing around you.  You’re alone in the middle of the woods and it’s getting late, and you’re going to have to give up.

You pull out an arrow and shoot it at a nearby tree in frustration.  You stare at it in defeat for a moment before realizing you can’t exactly afford to waste arrows, and you make your way over to pry it from the bark.

As you reach up to tug at the arrow, you feel your heart suddenly drop into your stomach.  You realize you’re not alone.

Immediately you reach for another one of your arrows, but you don’t get the chance before your vision is gone, a sack being thrown over your head.  You scream, attempting to get away, but someone has grabbed you.  You struggle in their hold for a moment before some sort of rag is placed over your mouth. You inhale and wish you hadn't.

  
The world grows dark.


	2. Initiation

When you open your eyes, your vision is doubled, distorting sickeningly as it attempts to form a single image again. You’re incredibly disoriented, trying to remember what happened or how you got here. Wherever _here_ is. As you sit up, the familiar feeling of a headache poisons your mind, making it hard to think.

Then you remember, you had been grabbed by somebody. You had been _taken_ somewhere.

“You’re awake.”

You spin around towards the voice, the pain in your head being forgotten in favor of the deep dread that had settled in the pit of your stomach. There’s someone standing behind you. He’s dressed in black and red garments, ones you definitely recognize. They’re exactly the same as the ones you had seen the other figure wearing, the one who you had witnessed _murdering_ someone in the forest a few days ago.

The man is staring down at you, his icy blue eyes the only part of him that isn’t covered. A quiet voice inside of you tells you that you aren’t getting out of this alive.

Your throat closes up, but the man is clearly waiting for you to speak. You know that saying the wrong thing might kill you, but you also know that saying _nothing_ might kill you as well. You swallow around the dryness in your throat and manage to whisper, “Why am I here?”

The mask over the man’s face shifts ever so slightly, as if he’s making some sort of expression in response, but there’s no way for you to make out what that could be. “You witnessed something that you should not have seen, something that you should not know about.”

You panic, your voice leaving you again. Saeyoung had been right to try and keep you out of the woods. You start _praying_ that they only know about you, that he’s not suddenly in danger because of this. Tears start filling your eyes but you do everything you can to keep them in. You didn’t know how you were possibly going to get out of this, but you knew that crying wasn’t going to help.

“You’re in the woods often. We’ve noticed.”

You _really_ don’t like that. “I-I just go there to hunt… for food.”

The man’s mask shifts again. “We’ve noticed that too.” Your stomach sinks, you can’t figure out what he means by that, the tone of his voice is so flat. You almost wish he’d just kill you and get it over with, because the dread of waiting for your last moments is becoming too much to handle. You want to crumble into a ball on the floor, but your survival instinct is keeping you upright.

“You’re skilled,” he says after an agonizing moment of silence. “I’ve come to make you an offer.”

You stare up at him in terror and disbelief. You can’t imagine this offer is anything good, but a part of you desperately hopes. The man gestures behind you, and you twist your body around to look.

There are three people behind you, slumped on the floor with sacks over their heads. They’re not saying anything or moving around, but you can see that they’re breathing, that they’re all still alive. Between you and the other figures, lies your bow.

You feel like you’re going to be sick. Taking a deep breath, you turn back to the cloaked man. He continues after a moment when you don’t say anything in response, “One of those three people is guilty. The other two are innocent. I’d like you to choose which you think is the guilty one, and take care of them.”

Somehow, you think this isn’t so much of an _offer_ as it was a _demand_. “You want me to… kill them?”

He doesn’t respond, just stares. Your entire body is shaking, the guilt of even _considering_ to do this already crushing you. But you know if you want a chance to survive, that you _have_ to. There was an unspoken, but still very clear, message that you knew too much and couldn’t be allowed to continue to live with that knowledge. But the word offer implied that you had another option. That if you listen to the man and do what he asks, that you might _survive_.

You pick yourself off the ground, your legs numb and as heavy as lead. With shaking hands you retrieve your bow and face the three figures on the ground. “What… if I’m wrong?”

“Don’t be.”

You stare at the three people. The three other _people_ , people that probably had lives and families. The man had said that one of them was guilty, but what if _none_ of them were. Or at the very least, what if you chose incorrectly, and killed an innocent person? You couldn’t even be completely certain that killing one of them was going to ensure your own survival.

But it was the only hope you had.

You walk over to each of the people, calling out to them, hoping that maybe if they talk to you that you can figure out who is guilty. The first man is calm, unnervingly calm in fact. He says he knows why he’s here, that he’s done _awful_ things and he isn’t surprised. You can hear the _smile_ in his voice and you don’t like it. When you move away from him he just laughs.

A woman sits in the middle, and when you speak to her she’s hostile and aggressive. She struggles in her binds and screams at you, telling you that she doesn’t deserve to be here, to be in this situation. She threatens you, tells you that you had better untie her or you would regret it.

You reach the man on the end and try to get his attention while the woman is still screaming next to you. He’s unresponsive, his body shaking terribly. You almost think he’s still unconscious, but when you lean in close, you can hear him speaking. He’s just muttering to himself, saying that he’s sorry. You call out to him, trying to get him to talk to you, but he just begins to sob in response.

The room feels tense as you walk back to the middle, standing between the three people on the ground, and the man with the icy blue eyes. You feel like everyone is staring at you, like even through the thick burlap sacks, the people on the ground are all staring into your very soul.

You don’t know what to do.

Your hands grip onto your bow so tightly you feel like you might break it. The once silent room is now bursting with noise and you want it to stop. The first man is laughing, the woman in the middle is screaming, and the man on the end is crying. It’s too much. All of this is too much and you don’t know the right answer.

But you still have to choose.

You pick your quiver up from where it’s still resting at your feet, pulling it over you so it rests heavily against your back. You pull out a single arrow and take a deep breath, pointing it at the first man. You don’t like his laugh, it feels so sinister, you’re _sure_ this has to be the guilty one. Closing your eyes, you fire.

There’s a sickening sound coming from the man, and you force yourself to not look. After a moment he stops making noise at all.

You feel like your body is not your own, you don’t want to believe that you had just done that. That you had just _killed_ somebody. You’re about to turn around and face the cloaked man, when the woman in the middle starts yelling at you again. You _hate_ the way she yells.

There’s the briefest moment of hesitation before you pull out another arrow and shoot it at the woman. You don’t close your eyes this time. Eventually, she stops yelling just like the other man did. Your entire body is shaking.

“Was the first man guilty,” you ask, taking another moment to stare at what you had done before finally facing the cloaked man again.

He doesn’t respond. Doesn’t tell you whether you were right or wrong, just stares back at you for a moment. You wonder what he sees.

“Why did you kill the woman too?”

“I don’t know,” you say back. The man just nods. “Am I… free to leave?”

The man walks towards you, and your body tenses instinctively. He holds out a key to you, presumably one that will open the shack you're locked in. You take it from him, trying to not show how much your hands were shaking. “You did very well. I think it would be a wise decision if you decided to join our family. We will be in touch.”

You’re certain you know exactly what he’s talking about. Again, it doesn’t seem so much like a decision for you to _consider_ , but rather a decision that has already been made for you. The man silently walks past you and exits the shack, leaving you alone.

You turn to face the door, being forced to look at the three people again. The man's question keeps echoing in your head. _‘Why did you kill the woman too?’_ You stare at her lifeless body, thinking about her awful screams again. You had hated them so much because they had reminded you of someone--she had reminded you of Saeyoung’s mother.

And that was why you had killed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! remember to leave a comment, we love reading them!
> 
> get ready for things to start Happening
> 
> \- lexa


	3. Incentive

_"Hey, come on!" Saeyoung urges you to keep going, "We're almost back!"_

_"I dunno Saeyoung... your mom's kinda scary..." You reply slowly._

_His house is close, and you know that once you get there you'll be taken care of. Your arm is starting to feel numb. The wolf didn't bite too deep, but it still hurts. As afraid of his mother you are, you hope you get there soon. Even though you're only seven years old, you know you'll die if the wound isn't treated._  

_You burst out of the trees and into his massive backyard. His mom is there on the porch, she sees your arm and immediately asks 'what the fuck happened?'_

_You flinch at the loudness of her voice. She pulls you inside to find the nanny, as she 'doesn't have time for this bullshit'. The nanny is an old woman with a kind smile, and you feel much safer in her care than the obviously drunk woman you can hear yelling at Saeyoung from across the hall._

_"You never step foot outside again, or you'll regret it! I don't care about that stupid peasant girl, you are never to leave this house unless I say so," she screams at him._

_You want to go and comfort Saeyoung, but your arm hurts so bad. The room is getting a bit fuzzy. The nanny has already cleaned and wrapped your wound, so it shouldn't be bad to take a quick nap, right? You're so tired._

_You wake up when Saeyoung's mom storms into the room. She grabs you by your shirt and drags you to the front door. You're shoved out, and when you look back the door is already closed. You drowsily start your way back home, knowing that Falkreath is close, but still a long walk. You're lucky not to encounter any more wolves._

 

_\--_

 

As soon as you open the door, you're engulfed in a tight hug.

Saeyoung is crying softly on your shoulder, "Oh my gods, where were you?"

You feel numb. "Hunting."

He pulls away and looks you in the eye, "For two days? Come on, (y/n)."

"Yeah. I... didn't manage to get any food." You say it and it's like you're realizing it for the first time. "Damnit... I didn't get anything." You take a seat in the living room and rub your temple.

"It's okay, I made some gold yesterday at the tavern. We can buy something with that." 

You tilt your head, "You didn't go in for work today?"

"I... No. I was too worried." Saeyoung looks away. 

There's now a tightness in your chest that wasn't present before. He was worried? _Of course he was._ You were gone for two days. You frown. If you hadn't tried to do more than you were capable of, you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

Saeyoung tells you that he's going out to buy food, and that you should get some rest.

You try to sleep. You really do.

As much as you try, your bed feels far too small, and your sheets are scratchy. Your body is a rock, and your head is a tornado of thoughts. No matter what you do, you can't get that man out of your mind.

_"We'll be in touch."_  

You knew that meant that they would visit you again. Next time you went hunting? Hopefully. You don't want them to come here. It could be dangerous for Saeyoung. They probably already know that this is your house, though. He did say that he was watching you - or at least he heavily implied it. You don't like that thought.

There's a knock at the door and you shoot out of bed.

_Saeyoung? No, he would have come straight in. Did he forget his key?_ Deep down, you know that it's not him. You debate what to do for a couple minutes. There's another knock, more aggressive this time. You jump and head to answer the door; you feel like you'll be in trouble if you don't.

The door creaks open, and your heart pounds.

...

There's nobody there.

You step outside, confused. You look around but see nothing out of the ordinary. You're about to walk back inside but your foot hits something soft. Looking down, you spy a bag of ... something. There's a note attached, and you shiver when you see that it's addressed to you.

 

_(y/n),_

_I thought you could use a little incentive. Go hunting tomorrow._

_\- V_

 

Curiosity overtakes you, and you untie the bag quickly. Inside, there's gold. A _lot_ of gold. You gasp; this could buy enough food to last for weeks. He just wants you to take it? You're assuming that 'V' is the same man you met earlier. Is this because you killed the right person? Or _people_ , you suppose. You should take this, right?

You decide, yes, and pocket the sack of gold.

You try not to think about the blood splattered on the cloth.

 

\--

 

The town is bustling with people when you return.  You feel like all of them are staring at you, like they know exactly where you’ve been.  Your bow feels heavy on your back, much heavier than it’s ever felt.  For a brief moment before you left this morning, you considered leaving it, it’s not like you were _actually_ leaving to hunt.  You barely want to even look at your bow anymore.

You’re glad you had managed to convince Saeyoung to go into work this morning, because he probably wouldn’t have let you leave the town otherwise.  No, you’re _sure_ he wouldn’t have let you leave.  You had been gone for two days, he probably wouldn’t have let you leave the house if he had been here.

You don’t want to think about what might have happened to you--or _worse,_ to possibly Saeyoung--if you hadn’t gone to meet V. 

The two of you had met very briefly.  Obviously there was no small talk, no pleasantries.  You had just stood there, anxiety keeping you rooted in place, and you had listened to V’s instructions.  He told you that you were going to ensure that a door to the Jarl’s residence was unlocked tonight.  You had no idea how you were supposed to do that, or why it needed to be done, but you didn’t exactly feel like you were in a position to ask any questions.

Except you had one that you _needed_ to ask.  You had gathered every ounce of courage that you had, and asked. “Will the Jarl’s son Jumin be left alone?” V had just stared at you for a moment, his masked face still concealing his expression from you.  You swear you can see his eyes _soften_ for the briefest of moments.

“I suppose that’s up to you, isn’t it?”

After that he had told you to leave, and you did without a single hesitation.

Now you’re back in town, feeling both completely alone and suffocatingly surrounded at the same time.  You want nothing more than to go home and lie in your bed and pretend like none of this ever happened.  But it _did_.  You have to carry out these instructions, there’s no other option for you now. 

It took you a little while to think of an excuse to visit Jumin. You two are friends, sure, but he's constantly busy with family matters and quite honestly doesn't have the time to hang out with you. What would warrant a visit, though? Jumin only really pays attention to things if there's something wrong. That's how you ended up at Yoosung's door. 

He answers and smiles when he sees you. His blonde hair is clipped back, and you can clearly see the sweat on his forehead. He must've just been working in the kitchen. You fake a smile back at him, "Hey, Yoosung! I have something that I need your help with."

His eyes light up, "Oh! Whatever you need!"

"It's nothing that big, but I really do need you for this."

"Of course! Whatever it is, I can handle it. Fighting bandits! Taking on a pack of angry wolves! Baking a delicious loaf of bread!" He says energetically.

You genuinely laugh. His innocence is refreshing after what you’ve been dealing with. "Well, I'm... pulling a prank on Jumin..."

"Ohh yes!" He pumps his fist, "I've never been involved in a prank that wasn't being pulled on me before!"

"I can't tell you all the details, but you have to trust me! I've been working on this for a long time, and it'll be really awesome." You lie smoothly, but feel a sting of guilt.

He nods, "I'll do whatever you tell me!" 

Your heart is starting to ache. "Thank you. All I need you to do is pretend you're sick. We're going to head to Jumin's house and let him get you some medicine."

"Yeah, okay! What then?"

You laugh nervously, "Ah, well... I'll... set up the prank while he's distracted. I shouldn't take long."

Yoosung nods again and unties his apron, setting it on the clothing rack by the door. He yells inside to his mom that he'll be back soon, and you're both on your way to Jumin's house. You've been there before, so you know where the backdoor is and how easy it'll be to leave it unlocked... but there's still a pit in your stomach that grows with every step.

 

\--

 

The job was done easily. Jumin answered the door and you pretended to be in some kind of panic, begging him to get Yoosung some medicine right away. Yoosung acted as sick as possible and although he wasn't very convincing, he made a good distraction. You broke the lock in a couple of minutes and were back to your friends quickly. They didn't suspect anything.

Yoosung made it home fine, and so did you. Now you're just sitting in the living room, listening to the occasional snore from Saeyoung. You can't sleep, your brain won't let you. What you've done is slowly sinking in. You just enabled The Dark Brotherhood to possibly kill Jumin's father. That's what you assume is going to happen, anyways. The guy isn't exactly a treat to get along with, and somebody out there must want him dead. You wouldn't be all that sad if he died, but the fact that _you let it happen_ would bother you.

Jumin is a good friend, and you just put his father in serious danger. _Why?_ Because you were scared? No, that excuse just doesn't cut it. What you had done was wrong. Even if you say that it's for your and Saeyoung's protection, that doesn't quite justify your actions. You had willingly accepted the gold, and willingly accepted the job with little to no context. _So why?_ You don't really know, and it's killing you.

Then another thought joins the barrage attacking your brain. _What if Jumin gets hurt?_ V had said that it was 'up to you', but does that mean you should have warned him or something? You couldn't have, though... it would've been too suspicious. Quite honestly, you don't care all that much about his father, but Jumin is your friend. He has been for as long as you can remember...

The two of your aren't particularly close, but you still care a lot about him. Your little group of friends wouldn't be the same without Jumin. You have a hard time thinking about what it would be like without him; just like any of those in your circle. Life simply wouldn't be the same, you know that.

_So, why?_

You start to cry quietly into your sleeve. _You don't know... You don't know._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B^)
> 
> \- lexa


	4. Offer

You snap awake at the sound of Saeyoung's voice. You must've drifted off somehow last night; your back aches from the hard chair you're seated in. You stretch and wipe your eyes.

"Sorry, what?" You yawn.

"I have some... sad news." He starts softly.

You already have a solid guess on what he's about to tell you, but you try to act curious anyways, "What news?"

"Jumin's father is dead." He whispers, and looks at you like he's expecting you to cry. You don't.

"Oh." You say hollowly. He stares into your face, confused as to why you're not more upset. You know you should be... but you're not. "That's awful." You drone.

"Are... you okay?" He asks, concerned. "You haven't been the same since that trip a while back." You don't know what trip he's referring to.

You nod drowsily, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Saeyoung worries in that serious tone you're never used to hearing. It's enough to wake you up fully.

"Mhm, I'm fine. Just real tired is all." You offer a small smile, and it disappears once you remember the news he just told you. "Oh um... we should go visit Jumin. Make sure he's okay."

Saeyoung narrows his eyebrows for a brief moment, then shakes his head. "Jumin told me earlier that he really isn't feeling up to seeing guests."

"Oh. Okay. Should we see how Yoosung is, then? We were just over at Jumin's last night. He's probably shocked."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." He starts towards the door, then turns back sharply, "Wait, why were you at Jumin's?"

You're shocked, and it shows on your face for a second before you get yourself under control, "Yoosung was sick last night, so we went over there for medicine. He was fine when I dropped him back home, though."

The room is quiet.

"Something's wrong, (y/n). There's something you're not telling me."

You look away.

Saeyoung grunts, "Okay. Fine, don't tell me." He rubs his forehead and adds, "I'm going out. You go see if Yoosung's... feeling better."

"Okay."

The door closes loudly. He didn't slam it, but he might as well have. You can tell that he's angry, but what on earth are you supposed to tell him? That you murdered two people, and opened up the door that led to the Jarl's death? He can't know. He wouldn't be able to handle it. You've seen him break down before, and you never want it to happen again.

Saeyoung doesn't handle death well. Whenever there have been deaths, whether the person was close to him or not, he always seems way more down than usual. You used to constantly find him zoning out years after his mom and dad died. They were horrible to him, but it was simply the fact that he knew them that did him in. The fact that somebody he knew is gone, and he'll never be able to see them again. Even the death of Jumin's dad is going to haunt him for awhile. That's just how he is.

You think he blames himself too... for some reason. When one of the local shopkeepers died, you heard him muttering to himself one night that he's sorry, he won't do it again. You don't know what he did exactly, but you're sure it was nothing bad. Quite honestly, Saeyoung couldn't hurt a fly.

You're different, you guess.

You hurt people. You killed two people... and you let a man die. A jarl. A father. _The father of your friend._ You can't get that thought to register. You know what you did was wrong so why don't you feel bad? Well, you feel bad, but not as bad as you should. You should be _dying_ of guilt...

But you're not.

You cry again. Not because you're guilty, but because you don't know what you're going to do when Saeyoung finds out. He will find out, you're sure of that. He'll probably be angry. Really, really angry. Or what if he's just sad? What if he goes through another breakdown? And it would be all your fault.

_This is all your fault._

The thought surprises you. You jump up and look around the room, thinking that it was somebody else's voice. It was in your head... but it wasn't you. You laugh nervously to yourself. It was probably just the lack of sleep, right? Great. Now, along with everything else, you're going crazy. You start chuckling loudly and can't get yourself to stop. The situation has suddenly become so impossibly funny.

You think you hear a laugh that is not your own.

You start crying once more.

 

\--

 

"Heya, Yoosung. How're things?" You softly greet.

"Oh... ah... fine, I guess..." He says timidly.

There are bags under his eyes. The hand that's holding out the door for you is shaking a little. You take a step forward to walk inside and you can see him flinch slightly. You give him a questioning glance and he offers a crooked grin in return. The smile doesn't reach his eyes.

You slowly reach out a hand to place on his shoulder, "You okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm just... I don't know." He looks down at the floor and the grin is gone, "I saw Jumin's dad last night when I was over there, y'know? He asked me how I was doing, and how my mom was..."

You rub his shoulder in some attempt of comfort

"...Now he's dead. This just came out of nowhere. I feel weird."

"It's okay to feel weird, Yoosung."

"I just..." There are tears in his eyes now, "Who would have killed him?"

Your hand freezes in place. The guards know it was a murder. "...Somebody killed him?"

"Y-yeah... He was stabbed to death..."

"Oh, that's so awful." You try to fake surprise.

You would have thought that the brotherhood would make it seem like some kind of accident. The thought never occurred to you that it would be classified as a murder. Does this mean you're a suspect? You'll at least be under some sort of suspicion. What about Yoosung? The guards are sure to have questioned him by now. They'll come to see you next, right? What if you slip up?

You try to reassure a crying Yoosung that everything will be alright, but there are a million thoughts and worries racing through your mind and it's hard to focus.

You try to think of something to say. Anything.

"The guards weren't mean to you, right?" you ask shakily. "If they were, I'll beat them up."

Yoosung tilts his head in confusion, "Guards?"

"Weren't you questioned? I mean, because we were there last night..."

"Oh... uh, no I wasn't questioned. I think they were going to, but Jumin said there was no need. Because we're good friends and all. He has no doubt that we had nothing to do with it." He recalls. "Why do you ask?"

_Oh._

Your throat goes dry, this was the second time today you’d said something you probably shouldn’t have. “I… I don’t know. I just figured we’d be talked to, just as a precaution.”

You have to pull yourself together, you needed to react properly. Just because you got out of being questioned by the guards, it didn’t mean that you couldn’t be figured out by someone else.  Saeyoung _obviously_ knew something was wrong, you couldn’t have Yoosung thinking that way too.  You were pulled into this whole mess just because you saw something that you shouldn’t have, if you weren’t careful you could get Yoosung involved too.  You doubted that they’d keep him alive like they did for you.

“Sorry, I’m just… knowing it was a murder… it freaks me out.  I’m not thinking straight.  It’s just so, _so_ awful.” Guilt finally settles in the pit of your stomach, bringing tears to your eyes.  Yoosung thankfully mistakes your guilt for sadness.  His eyes well up too, and he pulls you into a tight hug.

“I know, me too.  I don’t know what to think.” Yoosung squeezes you gently in an attempt to comfort you, and it just makes you feel so much worse. “They’ll figure out who did it… don’t worry.”

You feel like you’re going to be sick.

He lets you go after a moment, smiling that fake half smile at you again.  This is eating at him so much and it’s all because of you. “I, uh, have to go back and help my mom.  Just… stay safe, okay?”

You wish he hadn’t said that, since you were the reason _he_ might not be safe.  You don’t deserve to have someone as good as Yoosung worry about you after what you’ve done.  You want to tell him that, tell him that this is _your fault_ , that he shouldn’t spend a second of his time hoping that you were safe.  The guilt is eating you up inside and you need to find some way to take care of it, to _get rid of it_ , or you’re going to end up telling _everything_.

Thankfully, all you say is, “Yeah… you too.” And Yoosung disappears back into the house.

 

\--

 

The course of the week has been a nightmare.

The brotherhood hasn't contacted you at all, and you've been left alone in the anxiety pit of what you've done to Jumin's dad. You wonder if you did something wrong in terms of efficiency, but shake your head. You did exactly what V told you to. You gave them an opening. Maybe they're just too busy for you right now... you wish they would send you a letter at least.

Saeyoung has been out of the house a lot. He says he's been getting extra shifts at the tavern, but he hasn't been bringing home any extra money. Is he hiding it? Did he get some kind of second job? You don't really know. You can't ask, because he's been extremely distant since that one morning. You know something's wrong.

Just like he knows something's wrong with you, probably.

He hasn't brought it up at all, but you know that he's suspicious of you and your hunting trips. You take longer each time, hoping the more time you're out there, the bigger chance you have of encountering the mysterious V. No such luck, though.

Saeyoung... well, even though he hasn't mentioned that morning, he's still visibly distraught. He tries to make it not obvious, but you can tell when he's upset. You hear him crying sometimes when he thinks you're asleep. You want to comfort him, but don't think you'd be able to. If you tried, it would probably just lead to a confrontation that nobody really needs right now. You'll talk to him once everything is sorted out. And everything _will_ be sorted out. That's what you keep telling yourself, anyways.

Yoosung is a different case. He doesn't try to hide his emotions, he just lets them out. He's been letting out a lot lately. He openly cries to you and shares his daily existential crises. He always feels a bit better after you give him a hug or motivational words, but you can tell that he's breaking, slowly; day by day. You blame yourself.

The guards have given up their investigation on the Jarl's death. They found no trace of the murderer and have no possible suspects. You suppose that you and Yoosung could be in a lot of trouble if Jumin hadn't stood up for you. You think about that a lot. The head of guard said that it was pointless to continue, as they had no clues... besides a broken lock on the back door.

You haven't seen Jumin all week.

That brings you to today. The morning air is chilling, and the faint glow of the sun through the trees doesn't comfort you like it used to. The forest floor is wet with dew. You figure that you're going to stay out for more than a few hours, so you brought a leather coat with you. It's currently wrapped around your waist.

You hear a sound and ready your bow.

Every time you hear a noise you hope to see the black and red armor ducking into your view. Hope and dread. Luckily, or unluckily, it's just a deer. You shoot it down with ease and drag it through the forest to lay in your usual spot for stashing game. A deer is great for food, and you don't know why you aren't more excited. You usually would've gone back already with this much luck. You would've celebrated with Saeyoung.

The day goes on like that. Slowly. Like honey dripping.

You pick off a few birds throughout the rest of the drip but nothing as big as the deer. You're pretty far away from your spot, so instead of making the trip back every time, you hang the birds off your belt. You get about five before deciding to head back. When you return, your heart stops in your chest.

V leans against a tree, waiting.

He eyes the deer and the birds on your belt, "Good hunting today?"

You nod, a bit dumbfounded. V steps forward and, for the first time since you met him, pulls down his hood. You finally see his eyes clearer. You don't know how to describe them, but they look kind of lifeless. A dead blue. For some reason, you think that he has kind eyes. They put you at ease, but on edge at the same time.

"Do you have an interest in continuing your work with me?" He asks bluntly, and with a twinge of curiosity.

You have to seriously think. You didn't like how the job made you feel. Or, the lack of what it made you feel, you suppose. It scares you a bit how easy it was for you. "What would more work entail?"

"I think you already know the nature of my kind of job."

You do.

You know that continuing to work with him would mean you would have to do the unthinkable on a regular basis. You don't know what it would mean for Saeyoung. You don't even know what it would mean for you. It's dangerous, and evil and _illegal_... but there's still some part of you that's screaming to accept.

You think of the sack of gold.

"What would happen if I said yes?" You ask.

He takes a moment, "I would have you come to my sanctuary tomorrow night and let you meet the rest of my organization. My family. We aren't related by blood -" He laughs, "Well I suppose we _are_ , in a way..."

Somehow the joke gets you to smile, despite the circumstance.

"We aren't related, but we look out for eachother." V continues, "I think they would like to meet you."

Maybe that's what you need right now. _A family._

The thought sits with you for a few minutes.

"If I say yes, will you listen to my terms?" You finally say.

"Of course."

"I need you to guarantee the protection of my house mate, Saeyoung." You look down, "If I join, then you need to make sure he can't get hurt."

V sighs, "Well..." He trails off and you think he's about to tell you that it's not possible.

But then he looks into your eyes.

And he nods.

"I need you to promise."

V pauses. He seems so deep in thought, and you're pretty sure he's about to just walk away; call off the whole thing... but then he says it.

"I promise."  
  
You smile, "Then I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow."


	5. Secret

The town is quiet outside.

Not that it was usually loud at night, but you were waiting for when it was finally _silent._  When you knew everyone was asleep, and nobody would see you leave.  You stare across the room at Saeyoung’s empty bed.  It wasn’t uncommon for him to come home late, he did work at the tavern after all, but it still unnerved you not to see him before you left tonight.  Though, you were a little glad he wasn’t here, you don’t know how you’d explain where you were going if he caught you sneaking out.

You leave the house, taking a quick moment to scan around outside to make sure that nobody’s around.  All you’re met with is the quiet sounds of crickets.  You take a deep breath, and begin to make your journey.

It’s not like it’s terribly far, V had informed you where the sanctuary was, and you were a little shocked that it was so close.  You’d probably passed near it a few times while out hunting and had _no idea_.  But making the trip all alone in the middle of the night unsettles you a little, it makes it feel much farther than it should.  You’re unprotected, V had told you bringing your weapon was unnecessary, that he’d have a new bow for you when you arrived.  You feel vulnerable, flinching at any sound you hear, thinking it’s someone hiding in the shadows.

Then you realize you’re going _to_ the people who would hide in the shadows.  It really shouldn’t, but it calms you a little.

Sure enough, tucked away in an area that you’re vaguely familiar with, is what you can only assume is the entrance to the Sanctuary.  It’s not exactly… subtle.  You’d definitely have to look to find the actual entrance, but it’s hard to think of it as a secret when you’re staring at a door with a skull engraved on it.

Do you knock?  You’re a little unsure of what you’re supposed to do.  V had told you there was a password, but you thought maybe there’d be someone waiting for you outside for you to tell it to.  You take a step closer to the door, reaching out to knock and feeling kind of stupid about it.  Now that you’re closer to the door, you notice that you can hear _noises_.  Not noises from people inside, but… _breathing_ , and what sounds like a _heartbeat_ .  You don’t like being near this door, and want to back away when suddenly the handprint on it seems to _glow_ , and a voice rasps at you.

“What is the music of life?”

It catches you so off guard that you _almost_ scream, but thankfully you catch yourself.  You take a second, waiting for your heart to still, and respond, “Silence, my brother.”

“Welcome home,” the door whispers back at you, and after a moment it begins to open.  You slip in quickly, you’re pretty sure you shouldn’t idle outside this place, and you also really want to get away from this door.  You shiver a little when you see that there’s not someone on the other side that was speaking to you.

The sanctuary seems to be a system of underground tunnels, or at least this entryway was.  You don’t see anyone, and you wonder if you should wait, or go looking.  Were other members here?  Did they know you were coming?  You didn’t really want to know what might happen if they didn’t.

“You made it,” a familiar voice calls, and V appears out of a side room.  He’s holding a neat pile of clothes in his hands.

He smiles, and it's a nice thing to see. V's usually so serious, but right now he seems happy to see you. Was he worried you weren't going to show up?

You smile back, but there's an obvious nervousness in your eyes that he picks up on. V approaches you and hands you the stack of clothes. No, not clothes. Armor. From the looks of it, it's the same kind that he's wearing.

"It's a light kind of armor. I figured that's what you would be most comfortable in. We have robes though, too." He pats you on the shoulder and points to the side room he just came out of, "Get changed in there, and then come down the hallway a bit. That's the main chamber. The rest of my family will be waiting for you to introduce yourself."

You nod and walk through the doorway. There's no door, but a little room divider stands in the middle of the room and you hide yourself behind it to change. The room isn't anything fancy, but there's a bed sitting behind the screen divider. This is somebody’s bedroom, then. Maybe it's V's?

To your surprise, the armor fits perfectly. It's a bit stretchy, so maybe that's why? You hope that V didn't watch you close you enough to know your measurements. That would be concerning for a multitude of reasons. Whatever, you highly doubt that's the case.

The main chamber is huge. That's the first thing you notice. There's some kind of blacksmith range, a couple of training dummies, and a _goddamn waterfall_. There's a few side entrances, and a huge colored glass window looming over the entire room. It's amazing. This place is a lot bigger than you thought it would be.

The second thing you notice is the amount of people standing around, seemingly waiting for you. There are about six. When the group notices you, a few of them wave. Some of them smile, and there are a couple that just glare. Well, you didn't expect _everybody_ to warm up to you right away. This is a group of murderers after all.

You introduce yourself and are welcomed into the conversation. They start talking about some of their most recent killings and stories from jobs. You listen and laugh when the others do to be polite. You aren't completely sold on the whole murdering thing just yet, but you know you have to be soon. Might as well try and get used to it.

They ask you about how you snuck into the Jarl's house and your heart tightens. You tell them, albeit a bit reluctantly, and they praise you on a job well done. This makes you feel a little better. V grins whenever you add something to the conversation.

You feel... happy.

These people seem glad that you're here... or they're at least tolerating you. You can tell what a bond they all have, and you're excited to join that. Even if they're murderers, they're a family. They look out for each other, like V said. They're your family now.

Everything is great. You're so entrapped in their stories and jokes and kind words that you lose track of time. It's probably been about an hour, but it sure didn't seem like it. Time just flew. You're in good company, and that's something you haven't had in a week or two. Solitude didn't suit you. You realize that you don't have to be alone anymore.

You hear the sound of something heavy being dropped, and your rosy glow shatters in an instant.

Saeyoung is standing in one of the doorways.

Not the way you came in.

He's wearing that same red and black armor, and he seemingly just dropped a heavy stack of books. He's staring directly at you, and you think he's going to burn a hole through your body. He is _furious._ You have never seen him this mad in your entire life, and he hasn't even spoken yet. He looks at you, and then V, and walks alarmingly slow towards the circle of people. They've noticed him by now, and are asking if something's wrong. He ignores them.

He takes another long look into your eyes, all while walking closer to you. He stops when he gets right in front of you. A million questions are running through your head.

"Sae-"

He slaps a hand over your mouth. V is practically biting his nails.

Saeyoung looks at him once, and V excuses the three of you. You're walked up a flight of stairs and into the room with the painted glass window. You notice some kind of standing coffin, but don't get a very good look around now that Saeyoung is talking.

"What were you thinking." Saeyoung asks slowly. You don't know if he's talking to you or V, but you assume both.

"I-" "Well-" You and V both try to start talking at the same time, and it only frustrates Saeyoung further.

"One at a time. V first." He orders, and you have no plans on disobeying.

He sighs, "She was going to get involved sooner or later, Luciel. She's going to be a great asset to the brotherhood. I just have this feeling."

You tilt your head. _Luciel?_ Does he mean Saeyoung?

"How _dare you_ bring her into this." He says dangerously.

"She was going to find out, and you know that it was either this, or kill her."

The words sting a bit, but you bite your tongue.

"If you even think about putting a finger on her, you won't have to worry about anybody finding out about you and your 'family', because I will end you where you stand. You hear me? IF EVEN ONE HAIR IS OUT OF PLACE." Saeyoung jabs a finger into V's chest and you know that he means exactly what he's saying, as hard as it is to process.

"We're your family too, Luciel."

" _She's_ my family. Not you." He points to you, and you feel your heart warm a bit.

It goes right back to the way it was when he turns to face you, and asks in the most pissed tone, "Now tell me, what the hell were you thinking? ...I doubt you were thinking at all."

"I _was_ thinking. A lot. About how cold you were to me this past week. You wouldn't tell me why, but now I know!" You raise your arms, "Because of this place! You didn't want me getting in on it."

"That's... not it at all!" He sighs, "If you _were_ thinking, then why the fuck are you here?"

"Why are YOU here?" You retort.

"That doesn't matter." Saeyoung replies quickly. "What _matters_ , is that you're in danger! This kind of work isn't just a walk in the park. Oh, and I know you probably think that killing people is the same as animals, but it's _not!_ You won't be able to do it. I know it."

You take a second. _Oh._ He must not know.

"...I have killed before, Saeyoung."

His disposition droops, "You... no..." His mouth quivers, "When?"

"A-about a week ago..." You try to say it softly but his eyes flare, back to their original state.

" _What._ "

He turns to V and you can see him gripping a dagger attached to his belt.

" _What did you make her do?_ "

"Luciel... settle down. She didn't do anything she didn't want to."

"NO. She wouldn't have. She wouldn't _kill a person_."

"It wasn't a person. It was two." V adds, "She also did what you wouldn't. When you refused the kill the Jarl, or have anything to do with it... she came in and helped."

"Jumin's father... That was _you?_ " There are tears in Saeyoung's eyes.

"I... left the door open." You admit.

"And you killed two others." He repeats dryly. "Who were they?"

"I don't know. V told me to kill who I thought was guilty... so I did. He didn't force me." You try to be reassuring but Saeyoung only seems to get angrier.

"The initiation test?! V, you _asshole_ . I can't believe you would do that! After all we went through, after all the times I've told you how much I care about her," he rubs his temple, "You just _drugged_ and _kidnapped_ her? Then you have her kill two people!?"

You and V don't say anything. The two of you exchange glances, and you know he's just as worried as you are.

"Wait." Saeyoung starts, "I thought... for the initiation test..."

You look down at the floor.

"...You're only supposed to kill one person? There's only one guilty person... right?" the realization fully dawns on him and his eyes widen, "You killed _extra_? When you didn't even have to?!"

You feel guilty yourself, "I killed who I thought deserved it."

"You don't just kill people because you think they deserve it." He shakes his head, "You have to have a good reason."

You're silent once again.

"Did you have a good reason?" He asks you quietly.

You don't reply, because you don't know the answer.

Saeyoung turns to walk out of the room, and you hear him whisper, "I guess I just didn't know you as well as I thought I did, huh?"

You don't think he meant for you to hear, but you reply anyways,

"Same here."

The door slams and you're left with V.

There's a long moment that passes before he says anything. He had to say _something_ , you sure weren't going to. You're too preoccupied with staring at the floor. Your eyes must look as dead as his. He speaks gently, so unlike the man who had just been berating you, "Are you okay?"

You don't really hear him at first, "Hm?"

"I asked if you were okay."

"Oh."

"Are you?"

You take one more good look at the floor, and then shake your head.

"Do you need some time alone?" He asks, and you almost laugh. You would have, if you didn't feel so empty.

"No." you reply plainly. You mean to say more, but you don't.

"Okay. I'll stay with you for a bit, then."

There's a moment when you want to thank him. You want to thank him for everything he's been doing for you, and how kind and accepting he's been.

But then the moment passes, and he's started making small talk about hunting.

You nod every once and in a while, and interject with a 'mhm' or another shake of the head when he asks you something. You think he's sticking to yes or no questions on purpose. You feel like part of yourself is here, but the rest is somewhere entirely different. Maybe it's in the woods, in the time when you actually enjoyed being there. Maybe it's at home, cooking with a Saeyoung who doesn't hate you. No, he’s worried about you. Disappointed in you. He doesn't hate you...

 _He_ **_hates_ ** _you._

You jump. You had been looking right at V, and the words hadn't come from his mouth... but you heard them. There's nobody else in the room, though... as far as you know. You try to contain your fear, "Hey, V? Did you uh, hear somebody?"

He looks confused, "No..." His eyes widen and an expression crosses his face that you haven't seen before, "... Did you?"

You nod, and scan the room. You find nobody.

You try to get back to the conversation, but the room feels colder than it did previously. V seems more distant. There's a certain tension that you weren't feeling before. Well, you were feeling tension, but not from the room itself. You don't know what it is about the place now, but you want to leave. You're about to just excuse yourself and go home for the day.

Another feeling bubbles up unexpectedly. You start to feel... really sad. Horribly sad and upset. You can't think of any reason for this to be happening besides the confrontation. If you were going to be this sad about it, wouldn't it have happened immediately, though? _This must be because of the things Saeyoung said._

You feel tears, and quickly wipe them away. There's a huge weight on your shoulders and can't seem to shake it. You can't stop thinking about Saeyoung, and the feeling gets worse and worse the more you think. You want it to stop. The tears are flowing freely now. You stare at the wall, droning out the conversation.

You know V notices, but he doesn't say anything about it.

You feel bad for blatantly ignoring him.

You try to focus on V again, and to your surprise, feel better. The horrible feeling is gone. The weight is gone...  
  
You don't lose focus again.

**Author's Note:**

> please remember to leave a comment^^ - penny


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